had an aweeeesome day today. okay. maybe it wasnt all that perfect but i guess it was fun enough? as in, minusing the suan-ing from the older trombonists and stuff lah.. it has been something that is regular in my life so i dont really think its something saddening anymore.. yeah. because how much i try, i just get the same results and i dont think i can communicate with any of them because almost everything they reply is usually sarcasm or they rarely start conversations with me. yeah. like today my slide got a bit stuck. hey, it was because of the accident that happened last year. i accidentally dropped it.. but can i tell them? no. because they would be like, too bad lah, my fault ah? or something.. im not trying to say that im good or im being arrogant here, but its pretty true. why do they hate me? maye not all, but most. i would really really like to enjoy band, but it has been such a burden to face this kind of people every week and im tired. i will and want to stay on. i dont know what to do. band was supposed to be something i would look forward to go to every week, but i have been finding all sorts of reasons to skip band. i dont go late, for the fear of being marked late and recieving punishment. i dont know what to do... though my life revolves around school, band, church, friends, family and my room( xD), i am neglecting like band and church. thats why i am going church tomorrow.... =)
everytime one of my frens make me veryy sad, i'll not cry at that point of time, but when they say sorry. it just peirces through my heart...
life has become meaningless... what to do? siannnn....
anyway i gotta do my science homework. nites pple...
-jia en- |
